BEIJING TRAFFIC: as American Football
To help you understand Beijing traffic, and perhaps to one day navigate its hazards, I’ve come up with the following analogy. I hope you find it helpful.

BEIJING TRAFFIC: as American Football

Traffic lights: BAD QUARTERBACK

In Beijing, a traffic light is like a quarterback- an extremely bad one. It’s so bad, none of the players listen to it. If they don’t get what they want.. they’ll just audible audibly and bullrush the intersection. Because of this lack of respect for Mr. QB, you find yourself in an interesting predicament.

You: RUNNING BACK

As soon as the quarterback huts and the light turns green, you might as well find some holes in the defense and go for the endzone. Here’s what you’re up against:

Buses: DEFENSIVE LINEMEN

Slow to accelerate and overweight, you can usually navigate around these guys pretty easily. They’re mainly dangerous because they can block you from seeing over the line of scrimmage, sometimes allowing a strong safety to sneak up on you.

Cars: BAD CORNERBACKS

Nimble, but usually polite, a car will usually cede if you walk in front of it. Bad tacklers. Unfortunately, they can be easily confused with…

Taxis: STRONG SAFETY

These are the guys you have to really look out for- they can really lay the smack down. Quick to accelerate and extremely aggressive, they will stop at nothing to “invent” lanes to tackle you. Beijing taxis make Rodney Harrison look like Michelle Kwan. Naturally, they love to talk trash, and honk frequently.

That’s it for the defense- let’s look at what’s protecting you from this monstrosity.

Other pedestrians: OFFENSIVE LINE

Strength in numbers, but I can’t tell if these guys are for or against you. On the one hand, if you can get sandwiched between a group of 5 or 6, you’re usually good. On the other hand, if you’re only with 1 or 2, they can be very hesitant. This might be because they perceive themselves as running backs and you as their offensive line. Luckily, there’s one last offensive player, and it’s the best.

Bikes: FULLBACK

Hands down, your biggest asset. These guys are big, bad, and have been in the league for years. I mean it takes balls just to WALK in Beijing… to bike here is Chuck Norris ballsy. So, if you can walk quickly with a bike protecting you from those nasty strong safeties, you’re all set. Touchdown.

As I may have mentioned before, traffic in Beijing is its own art form. The city is adding thousands of cars per - I don’t even know, week? Which means you have a healthy mix of people who have never driven before interspersed with people who should never have been driving in the first place.

To introduce you to the intricacies of Beijing driving, I will start with a relatively simple concept: the left turn.

STEP 1:

We see here a typical intersection. The light has just turned green for the east-west streets, and car [A], an enormous black Lexus with pitch black windows, wants to make a left turn into the southbound lanes. Pedestrians wait on each corner. (For purposes of this demonstration, we’ll assume no one is running the north-south red light, and no one is jaywalking - a rather large assumption.)

STEP 2:

To make a left turn, it is VITAL that [A] cut off all eastbound traffic as soon as possible. The first few brave or foolish legitimate pedestrians step off the curb; this is of no concern. [A] makes his move.

STEP 3:

NO! Too slow! [A] has managed to partially block [B], a brand new purple and yellow Hyundai taxi, but [A] has only achieved what Beijing drivers would consider a ‘weak’ blocking position.

STEP 4:

In this detail, we can see why: [A] has only inserted his left bumper and cannot move forward without contact. [B], on the other hand, is in the dominant position - by putting his wheel hard to the right and flooring it, he can fully block [A].

STEP 5:

[B] proceeds to swerve right, cutting off [C], a tiny red Peugeot with a gold plastic dragon hood ornament, spoiler and assorted knobs glued on. Since [B] is just accelerating, and [C] is now decelerating, this has created a low-density ‘dead space’ in the intersection. [D], a strange blue tricycle dumptruck carrying what appear to be 40 of the world’s oldest propane tanks, sees this and makes a move.

STEP 6:

DENIED! [E], an old red taxi with its name sloppily stenciled in white on its doors, has boldly cut across two lanes of traffic, behind [D], and then swerved right, driving [D] into an extremely weak position behind [A]. Meanwhile, [B] and [C] are still fighting for position, with [C] muscling his way into the crosswalk. The only thing between [E] and a successful left turn is a few lawful pedestrians. [E] steps on the gas…

STEP 7:

…and is cut off by [F], an elderly man pedaling his tricycle verrrryyy slooooowwwly with a 15-foot-diameter sphere of empty plastic cooking oil bottles bungee-corded haphazardly to the cargo area. He was part of the lawful pedestrians, but seeing the stalled traffic, decided to cut diagonally across the intersection. Not only has [F] blocked [E], he is headed straight at [B], giving [C] the edge he needs.

STEP 8:

[B] concedes to [C], who drives in the crosswalk behind [F] and blocks [E]. Meanwhile, [G], a herd of about 20 bicycles, mopeds, pedestrians and wheelbarrows, sensing weakness in the eastbound lane and seeing that much of the westbound traffic is blocked behind [D], breaks north against the light. [F] pedals doggedly onward at about 2 miles per hour, his face like chiseled marble.

STEP 9:

Now things get interesting. [C] has broken free and, as the first vehicle to get where he was going, wins. [E] makes a move to block [B] but, like [A] at the start of the left turn, only gains a ‘weak’ block. [A] has cleverly let [F] pass and guns into a crowd of [G], which both moves [A] forward and drives some [G] stragglers into the path of [D], clearing [A]’s flanks. Little now stands between [A] and a strong second-place finish.

STEP 10:

Except for public bus [H], one of those double buses with the accordion-thing connector. [H] has been screaming unnoticed along the eastbound sidewalk and now careens dangerously into a U-turn. This doesn’t appear to concern the 112 people packed inside and pressed against the windows (although that could be due to a lack of oxygen.) [H] completely blocks both [A] and [D]. On the other side of the intersection, [B] has swerved into the lawful pedestrians (who aren’t important enough to warrant a letter) and has gained position on [E].

[E] has forgotten the face of his father: He was so focused on his battle with [B] that he lost sight of the ultimate goal and is now hopelessly out of position.

This clears the path for dark horse [I], a blue Buick Lacrosse, to cut all the way across behind [H] and become the second vehicle to get where he was going (and the first to complete a left turn), since [F] has changed his mind again and is now gradually drifting north into the southbound lanes. But everyone better hurry, because the light is about to change…

STEP 11:

STEP 12:

And we’re ready to start over.

And here’s a picture of how it is at a roundabout:

I went to Flic en Flac to have dinner with a good friend of mine. He wanted to meet me to discuss something. After dinner and chatting with some other friends, I went back to get my car at the parking outside. It was already pitch black and the security guard nowhere to be found. I drove the car back home and after parking it safely in the garage, I went to close the garage doors. To my utter surprise, I found a big smear/mark on my left front bumper and the left blinker’s glass broken. The blinker still works. Fortunately.

I feel like using a baseball bat and hit that a..hole’s head into a heap of mush.

OK, if the driver was a woman, please change the words to whore and c*nt.

I have recently acquired a new pet peeve. I take the motorway to go to work and get back home everyday. Here, in our small island, the speed limit is a mere 90km/hr. Which is easily exceeded by most cars and lorries on the road.

Many drivers consider themselves to be an ace behind the wheel and are loath to give way. And patience is sometimes tested to its limit during traffic.

My pet peeve is the drivers who stick to the right (fast) lane while doing a mere 70-75km/hr. And flashing them is of no use. Come on, let others go through (and drive to their death?). I accept that sometimes a relatively slow vehicle will be overtaking a more slow vehicle, and will hold the fast lane for a while. I also understand if there is a fast approaching turnaround and you need to turn right, you will keep the right. But otherwise it’s plain bad manners to stay in the fast lane doing 70 when the left side of the motorway is free and no close, slow vehicles in front of you.

I’ve overtaken on the left a couple of times although I really hate doing that. But it looks like things ain’t going to get any better soon. Oh oh, time for me to drive home again. Ciao.

So what are the news? My mother’s trying to feed me like one tries to feed a turkey before Thanksgiving. :D (Moi ki ti croire mo pou kapav plati ventre ene ti p :P)

Forgot about how bad traffic in and out of Port Louis can be. Got to work late 3 days in a row while trying to figure out the best route to get to work. Ok, first day I left home around 8.45am, when I was supposed to get to work around 8.30 ;) Anyway, now I’ve decided to go Mt Signaux then at Bel VIllage turn left to Pailles. Not going to be on the motorway directly from Caudan. One good thing though, more drivers seem to have adopted the ‘defensive driving’ method. More polite compared to Chinese drivers. Something one of my Chinese colleagues mentioned to me yesterday.

Also read about the government’s schemings. Nothing has changed. The latest outburst about tourists having to pay for Ilot Gabriel moved the focus away from the debate about Pamplemousses Garden no longer being free as from next month. The protestations about the island not being free + being poorly managed (some endemic trees have apparently been destroyed) have led to the government stating that they don’t have the fund/resources to protect and maintain these sites, and that the demande de bail’ was done in due form. Well, I don’t know much about these things, but I am quite surprised to see that more than half a year had gone between the company’s request to undertake the ‘bail’ and the submission of their plan for Ilot Gabriel. Aren’t companies supposed to have a thought out plan before submitting such requests?

Anyway, since the weekend, it has been our dear PM accusing and being accused of being racist. What’s new about that? Our dear politicians have been using the race card for years, if not decades. It’s just like the waltz that happen everytime before/after elections. Parties merging, making alliances and then deciding to break up to court their previous ‘opponents’. And one wonders why so many people have little faith in the governement (whoever might be ruling the country).

I have also learnt to get used again to the water shortages meaning no water supply for several hours a day (and practically all night). Almost no water/electricity shortage in China in the big cities of Beijing and Shanghai …..

Still seething with one of banks charging my bank interest income at source. Will be withdrawing a big lump and take it with me to China on my next trip. Now I have to figure out the Tax return and fill it before the end of the month to claim a refund. Plus I never got my tax refund from some 3-4 years ago. :WTF: :(

But having him here meant waking up early, going out shopping with him everyday, accompanying him to whatever places he want to visit (not the tourist sites, he has been here before), looking for places where there might be the stuff he’s looking for, calling and messaging friends to help, trying to figure out what restaurants are decent enough to take him there, get him tickets for metro, bus, train (he spent a couple of days in a town near BJ)… Lots of enegy spent. Well spent I should say, since I am such a lazy guy.

But his departure was a bit at a bad moment. I didn’t manage to watch Liverpool win against Chelsea as I was at the airport seeing him off, then last night I was too tired to stay awake to see Man Utd get beaten (I had only about 2hrs sleep the previous night)…. Hope there will be nothing special for the Champions League Final later this month.

The weather’s gone warm, in a week or two it will be too hot to walk outside, so better enjoy the weather now. I’m going out to feel the sun on me, and read a book at the park near where I live.

Last week, I finally bought an electronic public transportation card in Beijing (the blue card in the picture 交通 一卡通). When I was in Shanghai, I found the SH Public Transportation Card (or simply 上海公共交通卡) very convenient. After buying the card for 25rmb, you just had to replenish the prepaid credits everytime u used it. You could use it to pay for buses, metros and taxi fares. Actually, the SH card on the picture (the greenish one at the bottom) is an old one, and at the time, I paid a deposit for the card, one didn’t actually buy it. The new SH card has a nice picture on it. I know in HK, you even buy things at the convenient stores with the equivalent card there.

So when I found that Beijing had also introduced that type of card, I was very happy. However, the Chinese students got me confused as they initially kept saying Beijing had bus cards, but not metro cards, or that these were separate things, bla bla bla . . . . After verifying with other people, I found that there is an electronic card for both buses and metro (taxis don’t use this so far). But then again, someone told me you had to have a picture of you and your ID to buy this. . . . More confusion.

Last week I decided to take the plunge after ensuring that you didn’t need any picture, that anyone could buy these, and that the unused money at the end of month would not be lost (the bus only monthly card does not carry forward). And I got my new Beijing transportation card for 20rmb (plus I added 30rmb worth of credit in it).

Why bother about the transportation card? Well, if you don’t really use the public transport system, maybe it’s not worth it, but you have to realise, often when you are in a hurry and need to take the metro to go somewhere, there just happen to be a long queue at the sole working ticket office, and you don’t have small change to buy a ticket at the automatic vending machine (only in SH, none in BJ). So you are left to queue up and lose several minutes while the lady at the ticket office slowly give out the appropriate tickets to each person in front of you. And in some buses you are supposed to put the exact fare in a box, no change given. We don’t always have 1rmb coins with us.

What makes it even more worthwhile in Beijing is that the bus fare which would have been 1rmb is only 0.4rmb (or 4 mao as we say here) with the electronic card. For students, it is 0.2rmb! Students do need their picture and student ID on buying the card. So if u take the bus, you will slowly recover the amount paid for the card, and even make savings. :D

Now I just need to check if the scanner still detect the card when it’s in my wallet or bag. That’s how everyone use it in SH. Well, it works unless it’s in the middle of those huge, full of junks, lady handbags, in which case you feel annoyed with the lady in front of you for not taking it out instead of repeatingly swiping her bag uselessly a dozen time before finally taking the card/wallet out. And it probably can work for the BJ one too, but so far everyone seem to be taking it out to swipe over the scanner, so I’m a bit hesitant.

Just a couple of pictures I took from the internet to show the mass of people who swarm the ticket offices to buy their train tickets to go back home in time for the Spring festival. These 2 pictures are of the Beijing West railway station. There’s no way the Chinese are going to queue up, and I am sure many scuffles broke out. It’s a highly stressing time and it’s who speaks louder and can push to get further in front that may be able to buy his precious tickets. And of course, many pickpockets are having a profitable time. I am so glad I don’t have to take the train during this period.

Now, I don’t really care if they didn’t work or couldn’t deliver my luggage on the stated date. For me, it was a contractual agreement, and they failed to deliver. I am not at all happy, as there are many things that I need in that luggage - clothes, battery charger, contact lenses, medicine, my bank book, etc… I am wondering if I could try and get some refund on the ground of late delivery, which no one warned me of beforehand when I was sending the luggage. However, I am pessimistic about that. The delivery company has already received my full payment and won’t readily pay any compensation. If I had not paid the full amount, I might have refused to pay the outstanding sum…. And the BJ branch/company will surely tell me to sort it out with the SH office, saying it was none of their problems…. Sux. And how much will they be taking off, as the fees were not big to start with? 10kuai? 20kuai? Is it worth all the hassle for such ’small’ sum? Should I try and claim money from them just on the principle?

I am back at Wudaokou in Beijing. Wudaokou is well known in Beijing as being a students’ district. That’s because Wudaokou is in the Haidian district, which contains Beijing Language Culture University, BLCU (aka Beiyu, the most well known Chinese learning uni), Beijing University (aka Beida, arguably the No1 University in China), Tsinghua University (arguably the 2nd best University in China), People’s Univeristy (aka Renmin University), and Beijing Foreign Studies University (aka Beiwai) among others. Of course, there are also myriads of small, private schools such as Global Village (aka Diqiucun), PRCStudy, etc…

Tonight I am putting some pictures of people eating outdoor near the Wudaokou light railway station (轻轨站）as well as the train passageway just beside the light railway station. These were taken from my mobile phone, so the quality is quite bad. The people are eating some barbecued meat, jiaozi (dumplings), or having ‘ma la tang’ (like steamboat in hot and numbing sauce), and drinking beer.

Top picture = people eating outside, the lighted building is the Wudaokou light railway station
Middle picture = train passing in front of the light railway station, everyone (people and cars) waiting at the junction.
Bottom picture = same thing, but train not yet there

Update: View of railway crossroad at night from the Wudaokou station